The Angel Islington London 2012 Hearing Wellbeing 2012)

The Problem With Facebook

Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Fr...

Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Français : Logo de Facebook Tiếng Việt: Logo Facebook (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Writers can think for days, wrestle with ideas and eventually tell a story.

How long do you think on Facebook?  You see a subject, read it and respond within a minute.

Any writer will tell you that the first ten minutes of writing can be absolute junk and is often trashed.  What if your Facebook comment is in the first ten minutes of decluttering the mind?  What if you are really upset about something else, totally unrelated, like your mother/lover said something hurtful?

I used to write emails to web-developers.  I would get the MD ringing me up asking what they had done to upset me.  On reading the email again the next day, I could see it could be taken harshly.  In the agony of the moment, when your heart is full of some reactive emotion like defence of a friend, or stress over a part of your life where no-one appears to understand,  it all comes out in the moment.    Your usual way of speaking becomes different, usually angry.

It leads to confusion.  For example, I met a very kind man.  He helped with my hearing when he heard me asking someone else if a microphone was switched on.  He did not say anything yet a few minutes later, I could understand everything again.  He never acknowledged that he had adjusted something and it meant that I could not express my gratitude.   It makes me think kindly of him.

If he ever says anything  that I see as mean, it hits me harder because I see him as a kind person. I still react against it but I should not do that.  He may not have meant it like that.  I should be giving.

The instant comment is part of the decluttering.  It is part of what Great-Grandma said:

“think before you speak’

unkindly translated by someone who shall remain nameless:

“engage brain before opening mouth’.

Maybe we should think a little longer before making comment.  The problem with that is that we may never comment.   I definitely don’t want to be scared of making a comment in case someone doesn’t like it.  Maybe someone is always bound to disagree.  I think we should all be allowed to discuss.  I may not agree but I will always think about it.  I can’t say that I will understand your point of view, but I will accept that it is yours and therefore valuable to you.   Giving you value matters.   Being open-minded matters to me.  Does Facebook make you want to share your thoughts or clam up?


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